Despite what our dating and single friends would like us to believe, the key to a happy relationship is much simpler than we think. When you have been together for a while and this person meets the “conditions” you are looking for in the long term, the first step of the rest of your lives begins. From now on, you will try to maintain (and even increase) the happiness within the couple at all costs.
Luckily for you, psychologists and relationship experts have been studying the elements needed to maximize relationship well-being for years. Note that it’s not just about sexual satisfaction (although that’s important). It’s a general sense of fulfillment, of being comfortable, happy, in harmony…
After conducting several tests on hundreds of couples, expert Max Alberhasky and his teams estimated that the key to a happy relationship was to “feel recognized” by the other, that is, to feel that your partner knows you deeply, that he knows what you like, what you don’t like, how you are doing, what you feel, your dreams and your goals… Everything that makes you feel “supported and understood”.
What should you do to have a happy and lasting relationship?
While this should be a fundamental part of any relationship, you’ve probably seen or experienced stories where this wasn’t the case at all. The key to achieving this is (unsurprisingly) talking. Ask your partner how their day went, how they’re feeling right now, what they’d like to do right now or later… The conversation should of course be two-way, it’s not enough for just one part to ask the questions.
It is common that at the beginning of a romantic relationship you want to know everything about the other person and want to know every last detail. Over time this fades and you feel like there is nothing left to discover. It is because of this lack of interest that problems can arise.
If you want a happy, lasting relationship, take the time to sit down with your partner, talk to your significant other and get to know him/her a little better every day. You will appreciate it even more, trust us.
Originally published on GQ Spain